I have not been able to train at all this week, my arm is still not good and there is no improvement there, my leg and neck on the other side are getting much better.

I am really upset to have been reduced to do nothing for a whole week. I have to start training my arm in a way or another now, with light weights and see how it goes, I will be extremely upset if I cannot participate to Mike´s seminar with all I got , if I have to hold back and pass on certain exercises because of my injury I will be really disappointed.

This is very unfortunate and should not have happenned. 

I cannot handle being forced to not train for a whole week and I really hope this won´t take any longer.

There are some days I wonder why,  how and …WHY ?!!! I am injured and this is the worst timing ever ! two weeks before Mike´s seminar and this is the time I should be training hard in order to be at my best but instead my back and neck hurt so much I can barely walk and move my right arm. I am sad,  I am disappointed, I am mad.

Using unconventional methods  from everything but JKD during sparring sessions is not the best move for sure but what is worse really ? The worst is that I was not able to get myself out, I got strangled and my arm almost broke and I was just stuck without being able to do anything, I did not break the fight because I am so stupid I don´t want to, I don´t want to be the one giving up, which is stupid because what did I get from it now? and it could have been worse.

This is of course a lesson, sparring is tough and I got hurt before , this time was a bit different because our new friend did not do JKD and frankly I don´t understand what the point was actually,  but I am hurt and I am angry , not at him but at myself ,  I won´t be able to train and I don´t know for how long , I should have been able to handle this in a better way.

In the streets I will never be attacked by a JKD person, I can bet on this so this is the point ! Bruce came up with the style in order to be able to handle anything and anyone, if I can´t after 6 years really what am I doing here?

the question is why I train JKD I think I just answered the question , I think it is the most complete style and I love it, I would never think about training anything else, the fact that I am so hard on myself is what makes me persevere, I am not a quitter and If I get injured like that again I will kick my own ass.

As soon as I get better I will have to find a way to train more efficiently, I cannot let my weight and size be an advantage for the opponent, I cannot let myself get hurt again , people trying ugly tricks on me will regret it next time 🙂

Ah this year is not an easy one when it comes to the economy situation, you always get surprise costs and it makes me really angry and sad sometimes… yesterday was one of these days, I was so upset that when I came down to the gym I did not feel like training at all and as Micke had been there for a while already,  we just left.

We went to my place and decided to train on kicks instead.  I felt better immediately, focusing on the training and I was quite happy with the feeling of my kicks. Micke is just scary sometimes,  I trust him of course but he trained fast kicks just in front of my face and I could feel the movement of the air on my nose , I kept thinking, GOD don´t miss ! otherwise I am gonna sleep for a while !!! Well… when my kicks look like that I will be done with feeling like a student ! I will upgrade myself in my mind 🙂

Micke told me my kicks were good, I was and still am very happy he said that, it means the work I do by myself is paying off and it makes me want to work even more because there are a lot of things that can be improved.

I am exhausted these days, lots of work and stress and maybe the warmth is also playing a role in this condition of mine, who knows…

Anyway, I am working on the bag today, beside being heavier than an elefant , I feel my kicks are not so good when it comes to power, maybe time to increase the level  a little. I work at the gym as much on the lower body than the rest, but lately I increased the weights but not for the legs, now it is time.

I feel I have come to a better shape than before and I am definetely stronger but still in fights I lack power, not easy for a small girl, my size and weight are not in my advantage but… yeah I know what you think, Ted was not a bodybuilder and his strength was enormous so … I have to train more and better.

I don´t know if I will ever get strong enough but I am sure I can turn my size in an advantage by having a good footwork, this is what is going to give me the advantage, if I combine this with good timing and technique I will succeed more in fights.

I never do a training session without footwork, I am better now. On the bag today I tried to keep a good technique and add more power, somehow the technique suffers from it, I can feel it immediately so I will focus on this for the next days , another thing to work on, is getting back in on guard !  oh really ? yeah footwork footwork footwork!!!  how many times do I have to repeat this to  myself ???

Micke is telling me again and again but I guaranty this does not come out of my mind. Now I have come to a level where I feel what is missing and I know what to do to  get better, Micke gave me all the tools, it is not a lack of knowledge really, it is a question of training and giving it time as well as believing in myself.

JKD brought me so much already, I know I have so much more to learn but now I feel I know a lot and it makes me happy, like I have achieved something in my life. Someone asked me what are my hobbies, what do I do , what do I like, the answer was short and simple. I train JKD,  this is what I do, this is what I am .

easy to say… when working on the bag I try to get a good technique thinking about the whole package,  speed, power, precision, position, timing, balance, retreat…. somehow something is always missing. The thing is to train until you don´t have to think anymore, until it becomes natural.

This will come with time, I always remember the comments I get from Micke and that helps me correcting some details. Somehow comments never stop to come ! new ones all the time, God will I get this right one day ?

Well, it is a never ending learning process, I see people who have trained for a year or so and think they know it all. Sure some people will get this faster than others but still , if it was that easy wouldn´t we all be certified… Let´s leave the subject where it is, I feel I would have a lot to say about certain behaviours , but as once Ted told us, don´t waiste time on negative energy, it is not worth it. I follow that advice most of the time, it actually has helped me in quite some situations.

Anyway, I get disappointed in myself sometimes because it does not go fast enough, I feel I should be better than this after 6 years. Really  I train everyday, somehow this is not enough or not the right way.

I have a big poster and a painting of Bruce in my training room, I wonder what he would think of me, sometimes I even feel the poster is looking at me and when I am done with training,  I get a bad feeling. One of my favourite scenes in Enter the Dragon is at the begining with his student, I always think , God I would get so much slap on the head !

Somehow Micke is reminding me of this, he has got that same style when teaching,  he has that seriousness and that ability to see it all, in the smallest detail and just say what he thinks. I don´t get slapped on the head ( I hope he doesn´t  get any idea now ! )  but what he says hurt me a lot at the beginning, when I hear it now I feel I can take it and use it to get better instead, it helped me mentally, I got tougher because of this. Micke´s teaching technique makes me want to get it right even more, this is what an instructor is all about, giving you the motivation and the will to go on , no matter what and  even if I do this first for myself.

JKD changed my life, and no matter what may happen, it will never be the same again.