I wrote in a previous post that I was proud of myself, that´s good because it is not the case everyday. I use to joke about things that I am bad at , not today.
Of course the correct state of mind is to accept your defeats and accept that you are not the best at everything. I am certainly not the best at everything and I liked to say I passed that level where you feel like crap, like I do today.
But the difference with before is that today, I am turning this one into a positive matter, in a way.
Micke came to my place today for our sparring session, I was told to use the left lead and that is when everything just fell apart in my head and in my JKD. At first I thought well OK, I trained on the left lead this week we´ll see how I manage, but then I got hit in the tibia because I had a too slow and too bad footwork , it hurt like hell but I went on, and then I got punched right in the nose because my helmet grid is too wide and Micke´s fist just went through in the middle. It hurt allright, but I had worse before so no big deal but I felt upset and I left the room and went to isolate myself for a couple of minutes. I was upset with myself for feeling like I did 6 years ago. Then Micke told me we could stop and I said no, then we went on sparring but using the right lead. I got hit more but it did not feel the same way, I have more confidence and no fear when I am in my comfort zone.
So what shoud I do from there ? Train more things I am not comfortable with. Of course there is no way I ´m gonna use the left lead if I have to use my JKD in the streets, but in some situations I may have to and this is why I should train it, and because I cannot allow myself to be afraid of sparring using the the left lead or in any other situation ever again.
Micke really pushes me, when it comes to training I am not considered like a girl and this is good, this is why I am where I am today and this is what helped me get passed the stages from the beginning . He pushes me because he believes in me and in my potential otherwise why bother. The truth is I owe him my level, being hard on me makes me tough and let´s face it, if I have to use my skills one day in the real life and make it out alive, I will have one person to thank for that.
JKD is tough, it is a fighting art, I am being pushed to my limits and I would not want to train in any other way.
So this is one serious post today I don´t feel like joking at all, I have some work to do.