Redirect focus!

I think I am loosing myself in the wrong path right now. I have worked on technique and been better but howcome I loose it all when I sparr ? FOCUS ! yes that´s right , I focus on the wrong thing, I want to be tough, I don´t want to look like a girl, yeah but the problem is that I look like a pitbull instead is that better? hardly !!  and this is certainly not the point.

I have been so disappointed at myself lately. How can the sparring look so bad?  I looked at old videos from 2006, I can hardly see a difference in the technique, no better kicks no better form, just more agression.

I have more experience now to see exactly what I do wrong and what I should do instead, I think this is why I am so low right now. I could write a whole list , I can see clearly what I do wrong. Howcome I can´t get it right in sparring then ?

I stop thinking at all, I only go forward, never back down, I only want to hit and find openings but when I find them I never put myself back into position,  it just does not look good.

I am pretty hard on myself and this is good, it makes me think and react, I am happy I can just tell what needs to be worked on, afterall this is a part of the process. I cannot just  go and think I am so good because I have trained for 7 years, if I did that I would live in a dream world.

Now I need to sparr more,  focus on what I am doing… and  kick that pittbull out of there 🙂