There are some days I wonder why,  how and …WHY ?!!! I am injured and this is the worst timing ever ! two weeks before Mike´s seminar and this is the time I should be training hard in order to be at my best but instead my back and neck hurt so much I can barely walk and move my right arm. I am sad,  I am disappointed, I am mad.

Using unconventional methods  from everything but JKD during sparring sessions is not the best move for sure but what is worse really ? The worst is that I was not able to get myself out, I got strangled and my arm almost broke and I was just stuck without being able to do anything, I did not break the fight because I am so stupid I don´t want to, I don´t want to be the one giving up, which is stupid because what did I get from it now? and it could have been worse.

This is of course a lesson, sparring is tough and I got hurt before , this time was a bit different because our new friend did not do JKD and frankly I don´t understand what the point was actually,  but I am hurt and I am angry , not at him but at myself ,  I won´t be able to train and I don´t know for how long , I should have been able to handle this in a better way.

In the streets I will never be attacked by a JKD person, I can bet on this so this is the point ! Bruce came up with the style in order to be able to handle anything and anyone, if I can´t after 6 years really what am I doing here?

the question is why I train JKD I think I just answered the question , I think it is the most complete style and I love it, I would never think about training anything else, the fact that I am so hard on myself is what makes me persevere, I am not a quitter and If I get injured like that again I will kick my own ass.

As soon as I get better I will have to find a way to train more efficiently, I cannot let my weight and size be an advantage for the opponent, I cannot let myself get hurt again , people trying ugly tricks on me will regret it next time 🙂

Ah this year is not an easy one when it comes to the economy situation, you always get surprise costs and it makes me really angry and sad sometimes… yesterday was one of these days, I was so upset that when I came down to the gym I did not feel like training at all and as Micke had been there for a while already,  we just left.

We went to my place and decided to train on kicks instead.  I felt better immediately, focusing on the training and I was quite happy with the feeling of my kicks. Micke is just scary sometimes,  I trust him of course but he trained fast kicks just in front of my face and I could feel the movement of the air on my nose , I kept thinking, GOD don´t miss ! otherwise I am gonna sleep for a while !!! Well… when my kicks look like that I will be done with feeling like a student ! I will upgrade myself in my mind 🙂

Micke told me my kicks were good, I was and still am very happy he said that, it means the work I do by myself is paying off and it makes me want to work even more because there are a lot of things that can be improved.

I am exhausted these days, lots of work and stress and maybe the warmth is also playing a role in this condition of mine, who knows…

Anyway, I am working on the bag today, beside being heavier than an elefant , I feel my kicks are not so good when it comes to power, maybe time to increase the level  a little. I work at the gym as much on the lower body than the rest, but lately I increased the weights but not for the legs, now it is time.

I feel I have come to a better shape than before and I am definetely stronger but still in fights I lack power, not easy for a small girl, my size and weight are not in my advantage but… yeah I know what you think, Ted was not a bodybuilder and his strength was enormous so … I have to train more and better.

I don´t know if I will ever get strong enough but I am sure I can turn my size in an advantage by having a good footwork, this is what is going to give me the advantage, if I combine this with good timing and technique I will succeed more in fights.

I never do a training session without footwork, I am better now. On the bag today I tried to keep a good technique and add more power, somehow the technique suffers from it, I can feel it immediately so I will focus on this for the next days , another thing to work on, is getting back in on guard !  oh really ? yeah footwork footwork footwork!!!  how many times do I have to repeat this to  myself ???

Micke is telling me again and again but I guaranty this does not come out of my mind. Now I have come to a level where I feel what is missing and I know what to do to  get better, Micke gave me all the tools, it is not a lack of knowledge really, it is a question of training and giving it time as well as believing in myself.

JKD brought me so much already, I know I have so much more to learn but now I feel I know a lot and it makes me happy, like I have achieved something in my life. Someone asked me what are my hobbies, what do I do , what do I like, the answer was short and simple. I train JKD,  this is what I do, this is what I am .

easy to say… when working on the bag I try to get a good technique thinking about the whole package,  speed, power, precision, position, timing, balance, retreat…. somehow something is always missing. The thing is to train until you don´t have to think anymore, until it becomes natural.

This will come with time, I always remember the comments I get from Micke and that helps me correcting some details. Somehow comments never stop to come ! new ones all the time, God will I get this right one day ?

Well, it is a never ending learning process, I see people who have trained for a year or so and think they know it all. Sure some people will get this faster than others but still , if it was that easy wouldn´t we all be certified… Let´s leave the subject where it is, I feel I would have a lot to say about certain behaviours , but as once Ted told us, don´t waiste time on negative energy, it is not worth it. I follow that advice most of the time, it actually has helped me in quite some situations.

Anyway, I get disappointed in myself sometimes because it does not go fast enough, I feel I should be better than this after 6 years. Really  I train everyday, somehow this is not enough or not the right way.

I have a big poster and a painting of Bruce in my training room, I wonder what he would think of me, sometimes I even feel the poster is looking at me and when I am done with training,  I get a bad feeling. One of my favourite scenes in Enter the Dragon is at the begining with his student, I always think , God I would get so much slap on the head !

Somehow Micke is reminding me of this, he has got that same style when teaching,  he has that seriousness and that ability to see it all, in the smallest detail and just say what he thinks. I don´t get slapped on the head ( I hope he doesn´t  get any idea now ! )  but what he says hurt me a lot at the beginning, when I hear it now I feel I can take it and use it to get better instead, it helped me mentally, I got tougher because of this. Micke´s teaching technique makes me want to get it right even more, this is what an instructor is all about, giving you the motivation and the will to go on , no matter what and  even if I do this first for myself.

JKD changed my life, and no matter what may happen, it will never be the same again.

I think I am loosing myself in the wrong path right now. I have worked on technique and been better but howcome I loose it all when I sparr ? FOCUS ! yes that´s right , I focus on the wrong thing, I want to be tough, I don´t want to look like a girl, yeah but the problem is that I look like a pitbull instead is that better? hardly !!  and this is certainly not the point.

I have been so disappointed at myself lately. How can the sparring look so bad?  I looked at old videos from 2006, I can hardly see a difference in the technique, no better kicks no better form, just more agression.

I have more experience now to see exactly what I do wrong and what I should do instead, I think this is why I am so low right now. I could write a whole list , I can see clearly what I do wrong. Howcome I can´t get it right in sparring then ?

I stop thinking at all, I only go forward, never back down, I only want to hit and find openings but when I find them I never put myself back into position,  it just does not look good.

I am pretty hard on myself and this is good, it makes me think and react, I am happy I can just tell what needs to be worked on, afterall this is a part of the process. I cannot just  go and think I am so good because I have trained for 7 years, if I did that I would live in a dream world.

Now I need to sparr more,  focus on what I am doing… and  kick that pittbull out of there 🙂

This was an interesting training today. We decided to go to the ski slope and down to the water. I requested a  techninque training on pads today.

It went well, after a couple of hook kicks on both sides I heard some comments that are for me the ultimate reward coming from my instructor. Micke said “it shows who your trainier is, it looks good,  you´ve been practising “. I use to hear ” that looks like crap “or something like that but I take it the right way because I know it does ! and it does  not only take one or two or even 5 years to be good at JKD, it takes a long time and those who will persevere after 5 years will eventually succeed, this is my opinion. So I keep telling myself I am getting better and even if I would like to be even better than I am , I enjoy the learning process everyday, and days like this are the reward I cherish the most.

After that, I got baptised !!!!

WELL !!!! we decided I would do some balance exercises while standing at the very edge of the bridge (or whatever this thing is called)…

Anyway I succeded on the right side and as I always work both sides I changed to the opposite corner but it did not take long untill I lost my balance, I tried to compensate by trying to jump back on the bridge but that is when my foot slided from the edge and the only thing I thought about was survival, I had to catch the edge in order not to be stuck in those thousand of plants growing in the water and drown right there. The whole thing was pretty quiet Micke did not see he just heard the sound of me falling into the water and this is when he started taking pictures. Fortunately I had thought it might happen and had a change of clothes with me.

This is only confirming one thing, I have to work on my balance because the left side, yeah … it looks like crap 🙂

Training is the best feeling ever. Oh sure sometimes I feel too tired,  too weak or  too whatever… but anytime I start training I always feel better, there is no good reason to skip training either than illness or injury.

I worked on the bag , footwork , balance and  speed with the paper drill. I feel I get better control and stability, those adjustments at the kiropraktor must do some good on my strangely twisted back ! Anyway, I had some good punch power and did some static  exercises for the side kicks.

Then trying to hold the hook kick position in front of the bag , I noticed a nasty problem that I need to correct kind of RIGHT NOW ! The position of the arms, what on earth am I doing with my arms when kicking ????  No need to say I am  reminded by Micke all the time.

this is a new point on my list, I moved it to the top 5 because it is very important for all kind of reasons, alignement of the body , balance , stability, protection, control, awareness …

In case someone wonders why I´haven´t written for a while .

I injured my back, it is not a serious injury just a muscle thing, but it hurts when I stand, when I sit, when I sleep,  well all the time. I am taking painkillers and stuff and even met with a chiropractor who found some other problems with my back !

One leg is longer than the other , the right hip is forward which make my back and neck compensating on the other direction and this makes my left side and hip weaker and even painful…  and I went there for a pain from my neck down under the right shoulder and in the arm to the fingers….

The good news is that it can be easily fixed with a couple of sessions, and it will even help me with balance so I am taking the pain for now and waiting for the problems to be fixed in the very near future I hope!

I have trained according to the new program this week, I added some stretching for the back and the hips. I can feel it, I have some work to do. This is quite boring to stretch, especially when it takes a long time but anytime I think I want to move on to something else I remember : you will never be good at something else if you´re not flexible! and this is true,  my movements are limited because of that and ENOUGH with the excuses ! I know what I need to do if I ever what to reach the level I want!

I worked on the papper drill , it is such a good exercise, I train all punches following the movement of the papper after impact. I train hook kicks as well , I tried side kicks but they are a bit tricky on the papper 🙂

I also add some hardenning on the heavy bag, this thing is so hard it works just fine! I punch with both hands and controlled impact 100 times and I also kick 100 times with both legs,   I need to harden the shin area because it is just too sensible. As I said,  I do it with controlled impact, I will not go hit a banana tree 1000 times a day as I have seen in some Jean Claude Van Damme movies ! ( go find a banana tree in Sweden anyway! )  

Ted used to hit daily on a piece of steel, he said this is not a question of damaging nerves,  it is gradually building strong knuckles .

But I have to say I am not very happy with myself, this is ground work, basics, I should have put some time in this a long time ago. Now after 6 years I wonder why I am limited while I should be better than this, no wonder I am not …

last night session at the gym was quite interesting. I started with 30 minutes on the crosstrainer and I have to say I don´t feel this is tough enough anymore , I have it on highest level and try to push to high tempo but still…

Anyway I lifted some weight,  worked on biceps, shoulders and did some situps and pushups exercises on the TRX.

I worked on the legs for a while as well as I need to tighten up this aera a little (!) …

After one and a half  hour I thought I was done but when I went pass the treadmill I thought I would give it a try. I ran only 2 kms , it took me around 10 min, Ok not a record but I never run on that thing, it makes me dizzy when I get down, I prefer running outside,  it feels much more natural to me. 

Anyway the point here is that I felt I did more workout in 10 minutes on the treadmill than I did in 30 minutes on the crosstrainer , so I may do that again 🙂

when I came back home, after I got myself something to eat, I did a bit of footwork and shadow boxing.

Jkd training is at tonight´s program.

I see my upper body is getting some nice trained shape but the lower aera needs some work tough ! 

I need to get stronger legs this is important for my kicks and the stomach aera is under construction as well because it is NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

Bruce Lee Lee believed that the abdominal muscles were one of the most important muscle groups for a martial artist, since virtually every movement requires some degree of abdominal work. Bruce always felt that if your stomach was not developed, then you had no business doing any hard sparring.